Topic: Funny football quotes

Here are some more funny football quotes:

"I've told the players we need to win so that I can have the cash to buy some new ones"
Chris Turner, Peterborough manager, before LC QF, 1992.

"Tell the Kraut to get his ass up front. We don't pay a million for a guy to hang around in defence."
NY Cosmos executive, on Beckenbauer's positioning.

"I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest just squandered"
George Best.

"If we played like that every week we wouldn't be so inconsistent"
Bryan Robson, Man U, 1990.

"That's great, tell him he's Pele and get him back on."
John Lambie, Partick Thistle manager, when told a concussed striker did not know who he was.

"I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area, for goalies is between their legs"
ANDY GRAY, SkySport

Richard Keys : Well Roy, do you think that you'll have to finish above Manchester United to win the league?
Roy Evans : You have to finish above everyone to win the league, Richard.

"If you can't stand the heat in the dressing-room, get out of the kitchen."
TERRY VENABLES, Capital Gold

"It's now 1-1, an exact reversal of the score on Saturday."
(Radio 5 Live)

"Football today, it's like a game of chess. It's all about money."
(NEWCASTLE UNITED FAN, Radio 5 Live)

"I don't believe in luck... but I do believe you need it."
ALAN BALL

"Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be any different."
TREVOR BROOKING

"Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead."
TOM FERRIE

"And I honestly believe we can go all the way to Wembley...unless somebody knocks us out."
DAVE BASSETT

"And Arsenal now have plenty of time to dictate the last few seconds."
PETER JONES

"What makes this game so delightful is that when both teams get the ball they are attacking their opponents goal."
JIMMY HILL

"Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins."
BRIAN MOORE

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."
DAVID ACFIELD

"What I said to them at half time would be unprintable on the radio"
GERRY FRANCIS

"John Harkes going to Sheffield, Wednesday"
New York Post (1993)

"If there weren't such a thing as football, we'd all be frustrated footballers."
Mick Lyons

"He's one of those footballers whose brains are in his head"
Derek Johnstone - BBC TV Scotland (1994)

"The crowd think that Todd handled the ball.... they must have seen something that nobody else did"
Barry Davies (1975)

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel"
Stuart Pearce (1992)

Re: Funny football quotes

"Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match."
-Ian Wright

"I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football."
-Les Ferdinand

"One accusation you can’t throw at me is that I’ve always done my best."
-Alan Shearer